Dear E.D.
You are not alone. You do have willpower because you don't get in the car and go buy junk food when you crave it!  However, many people cannot resist temptation when the source of their desire is readily at hand.  When we resist temptation, we call it "cognitive restraint."  It can be learned over time.  But in the meantime try to keep junk food out of the house.  Don't shop for groceries when you are hungry and more inclined to buy junk food.  Keep veggies, fruits and nuts on hand for snacks.  Avoid high glycemic load snacks such as those made from flour. Not eating for prolonged periods of time can also increases hunger to levels that overcome your willpower so eat regularly.  Try to exercise daily as this can reduce hunger (and improve your diabetes).  Let me know how these strategies work for you.
- - Laila

I find myself eating when I'm lonely.  I'm not particularly hungry when this happens.  Only certain foods tempt me.  This behavior makes me feel bloated, depressed, and out of control.  Any suggestions? -- M.M.

Dear M.M.
This is a very common and normal behavior.  Foods, especially carbohydrates, can have immediate positive effects on our mood by supporting serotonin levels and by releasing stress-relieving hormones.  For many of us "food is love".  It provides temporary but immediate gratification from feelings of loneliness.   After these little binges we feel guilty because we think that we should be able to control our cravings.  Guilt, anger and self-loathing can quickly slide into depression. Talk to your physician about your mood and consider a referral for evaluation or counseling.  In the meantime, try to get regular exercise (it can be as effective as medications) and keep healthier snacks on hand like nuts, veggies, protein bars or popcorn.  Let me know how you do!
-- Laila

I'm a 39 year old fellow with a lifelong weight problem. My mom was very overweight and rewarded us with food when we were kids (the four of us).  Two of us are fat and the other two have not had a weight problem.  I definitely like to eat.  I figure I got the fat gene. Is it hopeless? -- P.D.

Dear P.D.
You have excellent insight so it's definitely not hopeless. You associate good feelings and acceptance with eating.  Because hunger and loneliness are similar feelings, you may be eating in response to feeling alone, alienated or disconnected. I am concerned that you may be eating as a substitute for love and validation. A low glycemic load diet like GRID will help control hunger. You should also consider joining a support group where you can experience validation and acceptance but also help others by sharing you insights.  If you can't come to the GRID Clinic in San Diego then give GRID@Home a try. Get active on the GRID forum so that you stay connected and try to get involved in one of your community organizations that can provide recreational, religious or spiritual affiliations.  Good luck and let me know how you are doing. -- Laila

I'm a 36 year old woman and I've been gaining and losing (but mostly gaining) the same 20 pounds for the last 20 years.  I have heard that "diets don't work" and that they can actually make you fatter.  I think I've proven that (ha, ha)! My real problem is that I can't imagine giving up certain foods for the rest of my life in order to maintain my ideal body weight.  Any suggestions? -- T.K.

Dear T.K.
You are absolutely right.  "Dieting" usually doesn't work thanks to some complicated metabolic machinery designed to counter caloric reduction (that's another lecture). Your goal should be to learn the art of moderation and balance so that you can incorporate the foods you love into your life.  Start with this behavioral adjustment:  When you start to feel hungry take a minute and practice "mindfulness".  Get quiet with yourself and try to figure out what type of food would be desirable at the moment.  Do you want hot or cold, smooth or crunchy, or sweet or salty?  Allow yourself a measured amount of the food you crave, then stop, and distract yourself with other activities.   Fulfill your craving first but with restraint.  You can also control hunger better and stay healthier when you limit high glycemic load foods. Good Luck! -- Laila

I'm a divorced 42 year old woman.  Most of my friends are overweight.  It seems like every time I start to lose weight they help me out with a visit to Cold Stones or they come over with a movie and junk food.  Is this my imagination or am I being sabotaged? -- J.S.

Dear J.S.
You've heard the saying "trust your feelings."  Your feelings are putting you on the alert.  Your friends may not be consciously trying to sabotage your efforts.  However, it's human nature to fear losing our friends to some greater success or freedom than we feel capable of achieving.  Adults are actually just as prone to separation anxiety as children are.  Try engaging your friends in your success and bring them along.  Also, don't be afraid to make some new friends that share your goals  Good luck. -- Laila